The Women's Link

How to Rebuild Your Reputation When You’ve Blown It
By Crystal Jonas, author of The Power of Purpose

Linda, a participant at a Leadership Skills for Women seminar, approached me at break. “Crystal, I’m concerned that I have really blown my reputation. I got so upset with my team that I showed how angry I was in the middle of a meeting. People have been teasing me about my blowup, and it’s really getting to me. Is there any chance for recovering my hard-earned reputation?”

Can you relate to Linda’s question? It’s one I’ve heard often, and I can appreciate that it’s an issue you want to address immediately. So, let’s look at the good news about acting “out of character” and then you’ll read three actions you can take to rebuild your reputation to make it better than ever.

Good News About Acting “Out of Character”
You take care to present yourself professionally. Even when the going gets tough, people at work know they can count on your level-headed approach to problems. Then one day you’re off your guard, difficult situations are building, and you snap.

Unfortunately, you snap in front of witnesses.

And they pick up on it. In a recent Powerful Communication Skills for Women class, Susan commented, “We were just discussing this point in our group, Crystal. We all behave professionally for weeks on end. We have one moment where we snap and that’s what people remember. It’s so frustrating!”

“Yes, I can appreciate that,” I answered. “Here’s why others take notice: ‘Dog bites man.’ Not news. ‘Man bites dog.’ News.”

“The very fact that people notice when you “blow it” tells me you don’t make this mistake very often. In other words, it’s out of character for you to do this. This is good news. You obviously do have a good reputation, you just slipped. This is survivable, and you can come back stronger than ever.”

Start with this reminder.
In my 6-CD program, The Power of Purpose, I teach people about how to create a positive public image. We start with the surprisingly small amount of information your reputation is based on.

Picture a mountain in an ocean. The entire mountain is you, but only the proverbial “tip of the iceberg” is what others see. This tip of the iceberg is your reputation.
Here’s what this means to you: Your reputation is based on brief snapshots in time, taken completely out of context.

So, remember when you are tempted to publicly express yourself that this goes into creating your reputation. Choose your words and actions wisely.

Action #1 to Rebuild Your Reputation — Brand Yourself
Know your brand. If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t think I am perceived at work the way I’d like to be perceived,” could you say in 25 words or fewer how you’d like to be perceived?

Know exactly the kind of reputation you’re wishing to create. How others see you is far too important to leave to chance.

To create your brand, look to successful people you admire. What qualities do they possess and how might you cultivate those qualities?

Action #2 - Admit Your Mistake
Let’s say you spoke out of turn, either too forcefully, loudly, or angrily. What to do?
It depends. If the person you spoke to is blunt and to the point, I do not recommend that you spend a lot of time apologizing, as this often backfires. It may be appropriate simply to say, “Mike, about that conversation we had yesterday. I wish I’d handled it differently.”

If the person you were addressing is more of a gentle person, you might spend more time on the apology. “Betty, I wanted to apologize for letting my frustration show yesterday by speaking harshly to you. “ Now, Betty might want to speak her mind, and you’d be wise to let her.

Action #3 - Cultivate an Advocate to Accelerate Your Results
Lisa had been working in the same company for over 12 years. She’d started when she was only 20 years old. “Crystal,” Lisa asked, “What do I do about the fact that many people still see me as the same person I was 12 years ago? How do I let them know I’ve grown, matured, and am ready for more responsibility?”

Great question! In rebuilding a reputation, you have a wonderful opportunity to make it better than ever.

Here’s how: Cultivate the goodwill of someone in the inner circle. This is a person who is well-respected at work, whom you also respect.

We’ll call this person Sylvia. You say to Sylvia something to this effect: “Sylvia, I would value your opinion on something. I realize that sometimes what I thought was assertiveness comes across as being too pushy. I’d like to do what I can to make that right. I wonder if you have 15 minutes or so when I could get your advice on this?”

Just adjust the script above to fit with your unique situation.

What to Do Next to Continue Building a Positive Reputation
As you apply your advocate’s advice, ask for feedback on how you’re doing. What other tips does she have?

You can also start to let a few other people know that you are working on certain areas of professional development and you’re open to ideas and feedback.
Now you are not only building a reputation for open-mindedness, flexibility, and humility (and think for a moment of how valued those qualities are), you are also subtly showcasing a new and improved reputation.

Good for you! Keep it up, and your newly refined rep will be established before you know it.

Crystal Jonas is a motivational expert, professional speaker, and author of The Power of Purpose. “The People Skills Lady,” Crystal Jonas is known for the energy, enthusiasm, and knowledge she brings to her keynotes and seminars. An expert in leadership, communication, and emotional intelligence, some of her most requested programs include “Communicate With Credibility and Confidence.” To arrange to have Crystal Jonas come into your organization to present a custom program for you, contact our Enterprise Learning Solutions department at 1-800-344-4613.

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