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The Manager's Minute
Tips for Dealing With Chronic Complainers

Chronic complainers generally feel powerless, as if they have no control over what happens in their life. They have an image of the way things should be and are constantly irritated because things aren’t that way. They also have the perception that as long as they are complaining, they can’t be the one to blame for the situation. It then becomes the responsibility of someone else to take care of the problem.

Steps to coping with complainers:

  1. Listen attentively and acknowledge what the complainer has said by paraphrasing.
  2. When the complainer uses words like “always” and “never,” get to the bottom of the situation. Few things are always or never, so find out what the reality of the situation is.
  3. Don’t agree with the person, because this justifies his or her feeling that you are at fault and that the complainer is blameless.
  4. Avoid blame and justification. Move quickly into problem solving to get the focus off the complaining. Most complainers have no interest in problem solving, but just want the attention complaining will get them.
  5. Make statements of facts without apologizing or commenting on them.

Use this strategy to deal with constant complainers. You can learn more about this and more in our Management and Leadership Skills for First-time Supervisors and Managers training. Sign up for this course or one of our other great trainings at NationalSeminarsTraining.com today!

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Your Responses:

I tell my teams that when they want to address a concern - they need to also be prepared to discuss a resolution. I have empowered by team by having them invest their time and focus on problem solving rather than complaining. Work from a proactive approach rather than a reactive one.
Posted by: Debbie
10/30/11 at 09:04 AM

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I agree with this strategy, especially because it might guide a "stuck" mentality into problem solving, and possibly empower the person to see him/herself as not as helpless as previously thought.
Posted by: Janis
09/08/11 at 10:12 AM

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In my experience, complainers often can be afraid of events spiraling out of what they would like to think is within their control. Complaining can be their way of, perhaps unconsciously, asking for help.
Posted by: Debbie
09/07/11 at 12:42 PM

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Most complainers just need to vent
Posted by: Stella
09/07/11 at 11:58 AM

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I could not agree more with this strategy! I like to think of it as forward thinking. Yes, you need to understand what happened in the past, but it's much more important to try to focus the complainer on plans of action to resolve the issue. Steer them towards the future and away from their sad stories of the past.
Posted by: Carolynn
09/07/11 at 11:47 AM

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I am putting this into action today.
Posted by: Nick -- Marketing Director
09/07/11 at 10:46 AM

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About The Manager’s Minute

The Manager’s Minute newsletter is a free publication brought to you by National Seminars Training, a division of Rockhurst University Continuing Education Center. Our mission is to provide leadership professionals like you with the training and career tools you need to achieve the career success you want and deserve.