Releasing Emotional Baggage
By Crystal Jonas, author of The Power of Purpose
Emotional baggage includes thoughts, feelings, memories, and, yes, obsessions that weigh you down mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. And emotional baggage can even take a physical toll!
Discover three reasons why it can be difficult to let go of emotional baggage — and powerful tips for letting go of it once and for all.
Why is it so difficult to release emotional baggage? After all, it hurts to carry it. You’d think that the burden of holding on to unpleasant memories would be enough to motivate you to give them up. And yet, you know better, don’t you? Do any of these reasons people hold on to emotional baggage sound familiar?
1. You don’t even realize that it has a negative effect on you. Sure, you know the circumstances hurt, but you don’t fully appreciate how much you think about it, and how much holding on to the negativity impacts the quality of your life.
2. You haven’t given yourself permission to grieve, complain, or generally carry on and whine about it in a way that allows you to vent and be validated while still protecting your public image.
3. You’ve been carrying it so long, it’s now part of your identity. How often do you talk and/or think about it? Do you tell people that you don’t even know very well that your spouse left you with the kids and that was years ago now? Are you still talking about that promotion that everyone was sure you were going to get but went to someone less qualified? You might be carrying this event so close to you that you wear it like it is you.
It’s time to let go of emotional baggage for good!
1. Create a compelling vision for your life. Who are you, what do you want, and what does it take to get it? When you don’t have the burden of negative emotions, you’re going to leave a vacuum. So fill up your time, thoughts, and energy with something positive and compelling ... and prevent yourself from slipping right back into those old, debilitating thoughts and picking your emotional baggage right back up again. Make your compelling vision so exciting that you cannot bear not to go for it.
2. Ask yourself: “How would my life be better if this didn’t bother me right now?” This simple question allows your subconscious mind to do a massive data search and come up with many positive reasons why your life is good right now.
3. Write the opposite. You say you can’t get over it. It hurt too much, it was too demoralizing, embarrassing ... That’s understandable! So just write this: When I do get over this, here’s what I’m going to do for me. And let go with all of the ways you’re going to take care of yourself, and make your life better, when you’re ready to let go. You’ll be ready sooner than you think!
4. Be willing to learn from it. It’s been said that those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. Not fun. You have paid dearly going through this experience. You are worthy of learning as many lessons as you can. After all, if you learn nothing from it, the experience is a failure. But if you’re willing to learn, it’s an investment in your wisdom!
Crystal Jonas is a motivational expert, professional speaker, and author of The Power of Purpose. “The People Skills Lady,” Crystal Jonas is known for the energy, enthusiasm, and knowledge she brings to her keynotes and seminars. An expert in leadership, communication, and emotional intelligence, some of her most requested programs include “Communicate With Credibility and Confidence.” To arrange to have Crystal Jonas come into your organization to present a custom program for you, contact our Enterprise Learning Solutions department at 1-800-344-4613.
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Very powerful article. I liked it and I agree with Rita that Knowing that you have tried and release the bitterness that has come with hurtful and hurting things. " We have to learn how to " Just Let It Go !" Life is short enjoy it to the fullest.
Thank you for the insight.
Very helpful article! Thank you!
When it comes to releasing emotional baggage, it might help to think of it as putting down a burden that doesn’t belong to you and weighs heavily on your heart, mind and soul. As you move beyond a difficult time in your past, you may find yourself slipping back from time to time, and picking up the weight again. Remind yourself that you are worthy, put the burden down again, and move into your future. Easy? Not so much, however, it’s harder in the end to forgive yourself for toting the load so long than to resolve to release it. We are all works in progress enjoy the journey and opportunities to learn from what does and doesn’t work for you.
Very powerful to let go !! Knowing that you have tried and release the bitterness that has come with hurtful and hurting things. " We have to learn how to " Just Let It Go !" Your heart and mind will be more grateful. It will make you stronger and more knowledgeable about Releasing the Emotion that keeps you down and not getting you where you are trying to go...
I like that.
Learn from the past.
It's an investment in your wisdom!
Letting go off hurt is not always that easy. After 40 plus years of demoralizing family remarks, behavior and criticism. From both relatives and spouse, I divorced, left family (except for my children) behind and thought I was movng on. Surprise, one comment from my now husband, and I fell right back into the old feelings thoughts and ways. Same thing at work, just one comment, one remark does you in, then to be fired for the first time in my life because "he didn't like me anymore" Letting go is NOT SO EASY!!!!!!
Take it from someone who has and is still dealing with it!!!! Stop misleading people that it tis easy to do!
So true! Thanks for the insight!
It is so hard to "let go" but so worth it. Life is much better when you are not carrying that "extra baggage".
Very good article!!
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