The Women's Link

Motivate Yourself to Bounce Back and Move On
By Crystal Jonas, author of The Power of Purpose

Brenda came up to me during a break at a Leadership Skills for Women seminar.

“Crystal,” she began, “I could use your help. I am so frustrated and embarrassed by what happened at work recently. And I’m really having a hard time getting over it.”

Brenda went on to explain that she had recently been encouraged to go for a promotion at work. Several people told her she was a “sure thing” and that she’d be perfect for the job. So, Brenda brushed off her résumé, went in for the interview, and felt good about the process when it was over.

She felt devastated when she did not get the job.

“I’m having a tough time getting over this. Could you help?” Brenda asked me.

Can you relate to Brenda’s feeling of disappointment? Whether you’ve experienced not getting a job, raise, or promotion; or you’ve had a relationship that didn’t last; or even health goals that fizzled out and didn’t give you the long-term results you were looking for, it can be challenging, demotivating, or even demoralizing to have setbacks.

Sometimes, it’s hard to see your way clear in what to do next. How can you brush yourself off; learn as much as you can from the experience; and infuse yourself with new drive, energy, and motivation to pick yourself up and move bravely forward?

Here, you’ll discover four key actions that you can take starting today to get your life back on track on the path you choose to be on. And you’ll learn some great news about what setbacks can tell you and others about who you really are.

FOUR KEY ACTIONS TO TAKE TO GET BACK ON TRACK

First, give yourself time to be sad, mad, disappointed, whatever emotion you’re feeling. Yes, you’re reading this correctly. Tell someone who loves you about how you feel, and give yourself time to feel the emotions. Too often, women try to avoid this step, and you know exactly what happens. You just end up working through this later, when you thought you’d gotten over the disappointment.

Better to get your emotions out in a safe environment, one that is your private social circle, rather than venting this at work and damaging your reputation.

Second, revisit your goals. Do you still want that promotion? Or, if your setback was a relationship that didn’t work out, is that kind of person who you were with really the best partner for you? Many times, women in my seminars tell me of frustration over failing to meet health goals. Then, they go on to tell me they wanted extreme changes all at once, for example, going from couch potato to marathon runner.

Do these goals represent what you really want for yourself? Or is there a chance that these goals were based on what you believe society or your group of friends expect you to want? Now is your opportunity to do a very private check-in to make sure these goals are truly your own.

Third, rather than suppress the energy that comes from strong emotions, USE it! That’s right, leverage your emotions to gain energy to act on your own behalf.

Think about the frogs.

If you toss a frog into boiling water, it hops right out.

Throw a frog in a vat of warm water and slowly build the heat and what happens? That’s right, it croaks!

Now, creepy frog analogy aside, what do you realize with this metaphor? Often, you find yourself in an unacceptable situation (boiling water) because it got there little by little, and, because you’re not someone who complains over every little thing, you ignored it and pressed on.

A setback is when someone else throws you out of the warm water before it’s too hot.

Now, you get to decide, “Hey, was that pot really for me, anyway?”

If the answer is yes (as not all pots boil!), then you can recommit to your goals, and the fourth action will help you with this.

Fourth, use your imagination to rev up your energy and actions. In my 6-CD program called The Power of Purpose, you can learn more about how to use declarations and visualizations to make quick, lasting positive changes.

For now, let’s review that all declarations need to be positive and therefore about what you do want, personal so they are “I” driven, precise with clear words about what you want, present and focused on right now, and persistent so the more you say them, the better!

Great news about what setbacks tell others and you about yourself

I always tell people that difficult times don’t build character, they reveal character; however, reputations are built during difficult times.

So, when you follow the four actions above, what do you tell others and you about yourself?

Your actions demonstrate that you are:

Resilient
Open-minded
Flexible

Think about how valuable those qualities are. Whether you are focused on recovering from a setback in a relationship, your health, or personal goals, these three qualities will help you regain control and be on your way to achieving the accomplishments you are worthy of.

Crystal Jonas is a motivational expert, professional speaker, and author of The Power of Purpose. “The People Skills Lady,” Crystal Jonas is known for the energy, enthusiasm, and knowledge she brings to her keynotes and seminars. An expert in leadership, communication, and emotional intelligence, some of her most requested programs include “Communicate With Credibility and Confidence.” To arrange to have Crystal Jonas come into your organization to present a custom program for you, contact our Enterprise Learning Solutions department at 1-800-344-4613.

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