In this new handbook, you’ll quickly discover the keys to becoming a more dynamic, powerful and confident communicator. Dynamic Communication Skills for Women contains step-by-step instructions for powering up your speech, enhancing your nonverbal communication skills, becoming an “active listener” and much, much more.
When you put the skills, tools and techniques you learn here into practice, others will look to you as a woman who knows what she wants, knows where she’s going and knows how to get there!
Some
of What You’ll Learn Includes:
- How to avoid the inappropriate word choices that can
damage your credibility
- “He says” vs. “she says” — understanding the impact
of gender differences in communication
- How to come across as assertive without being labeled
aggressive … or worse
- Learn to “listen between the lines”— and hear
what’s really being said
- How to handle the “big four” — conflict, criticism,
crisis and compliments — with grace and composure
- 30 great tips to help you use the phone more effectively
Chapter Excerpt
Introduction
The New Dynamic Communication Skills for Women
A lack of skills can damage your career!
Most people would agree with that statement from a career
counselor. After all, it's pretty basic advice to polish
the skills that will ensure your success.
Many of us have heard the complaint from
our colleagues or even caught ourselves saying things like,
"I trained hard for my job, but all I seem to do is
try to fix people problems." These kinds of people
skills are what we mean by communication skills. Often,
they are the very skills we didn't learn! Since we all communicate
in one way or another from birth, we tend to conclude that
we don't need to learn how to do it at all. Like walking,
it just happens. However, like power walking differs from
strolling around the mall, business communication is not
at all like chatting with a friend over coffee.
Women are especially vulnerable to presenting
a distorted image to others through their communication
style. The very attributes that enable a woman to work well
with others, build relationships, seek consensus and empathize
and persuade might work against her when she tries to climb
the corporate ladder. Many senior managers are still very
much bound by the more of the old, white-male establishment.
Not only do they expect leaders to communicate their way,
but they become uncomfortable when the communicator is female.
This is unfortunate, unfair and unacceptable but must be
recognized as true.
Finding ways to communicate effectively,
while maintaining your unique strengths as a woman in business
is a skill you must learn and develop. As with all skills,
it takes time and practice. But the first step, as always
when we face a new challenge, is to recognize our need,
assess our strengths and begin working on the areas where
we need to grow the most first.
Despite the shift into the 21st century,
we are and probably will continue to be hampered by the
past for some time to come. Women have made great advances
in the workplace, but many areas remain to be conquered.
Girls are stil taught differently from boys. Passive, manipulative,
deferential and nurturing styles of behavior are considered
appropriate for girls; aggressive, competitive, boastful
and demanding styles are permitted for boys. Girls tend
to play in small groups, suggesting activities and taking
turns. Boys play in larger groups, impose rules and follow
leaders' orders. They compete, valuing winning and wanting
to be best.
Men are still viewed as doing valuable,
paid work. Women are still seen as caregivers whose work
is not paid for and therefore not valuable. These attitudes
will not vanish overnight although they are gradually softening
and will eventually change. You might feel angry and frustrated
about it, but the fact remains and must be faced.
The task for women in business today is
to recognize the worth of what they have and build upon
it. Scrapping the strengths you already possess and trying
to be something you aren't won't work. A quick look at the
last few paragraphs will show that many of the things that
little girls do as they play closely reflect the consensual
style of today's business environment, especially in middle
management. That probably explains why there are more female
than male middle managers in American companies today.
The aim of this book is to help you:
- Make those female strengths work for
you by learning how to apply them to your work.
- Adapt male communication skills, whish
are highly valued in top management, to enable others
to see you as a leader.
- Avoid the aggressive label while using
assertive, authoritative language that others will respect.
- Become aware of nonverbals that might
betray insecurities that your words are trying to conceal
and might blur the meaning of your message.
- Learn to listen well. (Listening is often
described as a feminine strength, but very few of either
sex know just how valuable this communication skill can
be when it is properly applied.)
- Handle some of the especially tricky
situations such as dispute-solving or accepting compliments
without losing your professionalism.
- Keep your professional image intact while
communicating via the telephone or the written word. Consistency
and honesty are important to maintaining the image you
want others to see when they look at you. Face-to-face
communication is only part of the communication picture.
"There are two ways of meeting difficulties.
You alter the difficulties or you alter yourself to meet
them."
— Phyllis Bottome
Finally, remember that the glass ceiling
does exist. It's still hard for women to get into those
coveted managerial jobs. Make sure that you're not the one
preventing yourself from achieving the goal of success you've
set. Don't let poor communication skills hamper your climb
to the top of the corporate ladder.