Childcare, softball games, swim team practice, a family vacation, band camp, your teen’s first job — the list seems endless. Eventually something has to give, and more often than not, it’s your sanity!

To help you cope more effectively this summer — and all year long — life balance experts offer the following three-step plan.

1. Decide what’s REALLY important to you, both professionally and personally, and focus your time and energy on those things.
Do some soul-searching to determine what things are really most important to you at work and in your home life. Then make these your top priorities, and focus the majority of your time and energy on these areas. Everything else has to become secondary.

Once your priorities are clear to you, decision making becomes easier. If you’ve determined that ascending to the corner office and the big bucks that go with it is your No. 1 priority, then it will be obvious to you that you’ll have to sacrifice family time and commitments outside work. If your No. 1 priority is to be more involved in your children’s lives this summer, it’s clear that you cannot accept the lead on a cushy team project that will require long hours and some weekends for the next three months.

Are your family finances such that you’ve got to get that big promotion, regardless of the time it takes? Can you or your spouse alter your jobs to better address family concerns? Can you get by on less money for a couple of years while the kids are small — and do you even want to? Do you have a troubled child who needs more parental attention and help?

Tough questions, to be sure. But once you’ve answered them and determined your true priorities, you’ll be far less torn between work and home because you’ll be focusing your time and efforts on the things that matter to you most.

2. If it’s not REALLY important to you, let it go.
Committees at work, professional organizations, service club, charities, volunteering, community efforts — they all may be worthwhile, but they soak up your precious time. The activities you find yourself knee-deep in were no doubt important to you once, either personally or professionally. But how about today?

Ruthlessly reassess all these commitments, and ask yourself honestly which (if any) of these go along with the priorities you set for yourself in Step 1. Let go of anything that didn’t make the “really important” short list.

3. Stop trying to be Super Parent and Super Employee.
Trying to be all things to all people all the time is a ticket to frustration and anxiety. If you’re caught up in the “Super” syndrome, as many professionals are, you may pride yourself in being someone who can “do it all.” Face the reality that doing it all is going to give you ulcers, migraines, high blood pressure and a host of other stress-related conditions, some of which can kill you.

It’s time to stop striving for perfection and realize you can’t go it alone. Communicate your need for assistance, both at home and at work.

At home
Discuss your conflicts honestly with family members. Don’t just unload your problems with a “poor me, I’m so overworked” attitude. Tell them point blank you need their help and allow everyone to come up with possible solutions.

“Job out” domestic duties as much as your budget will possibly allow. Housekeeping help, take-out meals, lawn care help, shopping online, paying a neighborhood teen to run your errands – all these things can free up time. Sure, it will cost you, but it’ll be well worth it when you’re less stressed and have more time with your family.

At work
Solutions for a more balanced lifestyle may be right in front of you. Are you constantly stressed because you have to rush out the door at 5 p.m. to pick up your kids? Does an early morning weekly meeting mean you have to drive to work at break-neck speed after getting the baby to childcare? Talk to your supervisor and offer to come in early a few days a week to catch up or to work through your lunch once a week so you can leave 10 minutes earlier each day.

Find out if the early meeting can be rescheduled half an hour later — you may be surprised how many of your coworkers would be prefer that, anyway. Could the meeting be tape-recorded for you in a pinch? Once your supervisor and coworkers understand you’re committed to your job, they may be more willing to help you work out solutions.

To summarize:

• Determine what’s really important to you, personally and professionally.
• Focus your time and energies on these priorities – and let go of the rest.
• Give up perfectionism and ask for help at work and at home.

One last piece of advice crucial for surviving and work/family balancing act: Stay flexible. When you’re willing to accept change and adapt to minor setbacks, you’ll find it easier to maintain a healthy life balance.