Try to remember that it’s not what others think about you that matters. It’s what you think about you that is important. And if you can begin to see yourself as a strong, competent, deserving and powerful person, others will begin to see you that way as well.

Believe it or not, visualization is a key factor in developing a strong sense of self-worth and creating healthy levels of self-esteem. Our subconscious mind constructs our reality from the pictures we give it. You can use visualization to your advantage, and create positive experiences through your thoughts and feelings. Your imagination will provide your subconscious with new blueprints for your future through visualization. And the more detail you envision, the more quickly your thoughts can begin to manifest themselves in reality.

Emmett Fox, one of the pioneers of positive thinking, wrote, “The secret of successful living is to build up the mental equivalent of what you want; and to get rid of the mental equivalent of what you do not want.”

To make visualization work for you, follow these steps:

1. Relax and breathe. Find somewhere where you are comfortable and have privacy. Create whatever environment feels right to you for relaxation. Light candles, burn incense, play music — whatever creates an atmosphere of soothing tranquility. Now begin regulating your breathing. As you inhale deeply, visualize your thoughts going within — to the most personal, private part of you. Imagine yourself going deeper, like a deep sea diver, until you are submerged in your own essence.

2. Allow yourself to feel what you need. Begin to feel what it is you most deeply want or care about. Is it to be more nurturing? Is it to unleash your creative abilities? Is it to become a stronger, more confident person? Don’t worry about whether it makes “sense” or is in keeping with your present lifestyle. Pay attention to how good it feels, and how fulfilled this new concept makes you feel.

3. Visualize in detail. Perhaps you want to write a book that will help people and be an enormous success. Don’t worry about the book’s details. Those problems are for your conscious mind to resolve. See your book being read by millions of people who are grateful for the information you’ve given them. See yourself at book signings and on talk shows, responding to the success your book has generated. Or maybe you want to become more physically fit. Visualize yourself running, lifting weights or biking, and see the lean contours of your body begin to take shape. It doesn’t matter what you look like right now — visualization will empower you and allow you to begin taking the physical steps to make your dreams a reality.

Whatever your fantasy goals, it is important to make them real by making them detailed. You may wish to cut out pictures that represent your goals, and place them where you can see them. You may want to create a special “dream album,” filled with pictures, information and mementos that are relevant to your goals. For instance, say you want a log house in the mountains, or a farm filled with exotic animals, or a challenging, creative, exciting position with a great new company. Create an album or scrapbook that represents your dreams, and turn to it whenever you begin your visualization exercises.

The more time you spend visualizing, the more real your dreams will become. When you set aside time each day for visualizing your goals, they become a familiar place where you can recharge and relax. One of the most important elements in getting visualizations to work for you is the ability to “go with” them, no matter how chaotic or unsatisfying your life seems. Soon you will find that instead of being a victim of your life’s events, you will become someone who is strong and free to strive for the life you want. And that someone will have a positive attitude, a strong sense of worthiness, and high self-esteem!